I am one of those people who makes fun of a particular group of parents. The STFU parents (I cannot explain what that means because there is a potty word in there..most of you can probably figure it out, but if you cannotÂ ahem, Google it, ahem).
You see, regular parents fall in love with their children. They brought these little people into the world and that is a very special thing. So it is no big surprise when they want to share photos and funny anecdotes about their darling little ones on social networking sites.
STFU parents take this whole thing a little too far. For example, the parents who ONLY posts about their children, and do so aboutÂ 30 times per day.
Or the parent who posts a photo of their child’s first poop in the toilet. I understand that pottyÂ training is an important and exciting accomplishment, but don’t let that blindÂ you to the fact that photosÂ of crap are just wrong.
Or the parent who will hijack a discussionÂ on FacebookÂ that has nothing to do with parenting, and turnsÂ to the topic of his or her kids. Your children areÂ the worldÂ to you, but not necessarily to others.
All true stories.
You get the point. Kids are important-Â VERY important- but soÂ is having a life.
Anyhoo, I made fun of these infamous STFU parents. I did, that is, until I got a puppy. I have become an STFU puppy parent. I sincerely believe he is the best looking and cutest dog in the galaxy. I talk about him constantly to anyone who will or won’t listen. I show photos of him to anyone who does or does not want to see them.
I was so excited about the new puppy, that I ran a contest on the 1 Fine Cookie fan page. The contest was to name my puppy. The winner receives custom-made cookies from 1 Fine Cookie.
Before I announce the winner, I of course will overwhelm you with an atrocious amount of adorable puppy photos.
We drove out to see Louise of StoneledgeÂ Goldens. An amazing breeder of the British Cream Golden Retrievers we were having difficulty finding. This photo is from our visit when we met out future pup.
He is sort of special, you see (or that’s what I believe since I am now an STFU parent). My puppy was the runt of the litter.
As you can see from my crude, yet epic telestrator my puppy on the right is about half of the size of the puppy from the same litter on the left. Scrappy.
We picked him up a few weeks later. What a stud muffin.
Good GOD. How can you not agree with me that he is the cutest puppy in the universe????
How?!?!?! How??!? sefnignidurbindioboiernabianerobiaeoinbioaneriaenonri!
The most dreaded part of my work is selecting and watermarking photos. yawn. I avoid editing as much as possible.
Oh, but wait- when there is a puppy involved, I am suddenly willing to try out every feature on my computer.
This was taken on my phone.
Even better in black and white.
I’ve always wanted a Glamour Shots Photo.
Oh, I’m sorry. Is this too much? I can stop.
OR keep going.
I always wanted to be on TV. During the 80’s. On those 80’s televisions.
Photo collage, bitches.
Still not finished.
Seriously though, look at his smile.
I couldn’t end a photo montage without a mustache.
Or unicorns, duh. Lots of magical unicorns.
I was going to draw them farting out rainbows, butÂ I didn’t want to offend anyone. Especially after calling them STFU parents. Sheesh.
And before I bombard you with even more (and better) photos (don’t worry, I leave myself out of most of the other ones) I will share a recipe with you.
If you think your dog deserves theÂ best (duh.. but not as much as mine does of course) then bake these home-made doggie treats. Perfect for training. Umm and personalize them by making them into little monograms. Cuteness until my head explodes with puppies and farting unicorns.
Here Is What You Need For Home-Made Monogram Doggie Treats
– 1Â 1/8 cup peanut butter (organic, if you like)
-Â 1Â Â 3/4 cup of whole wheat flour
– 1 cup of milk
–Â 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon of baking powder
– You don’t HAVE to make little monograms (or initials, actually. OneÂ might argue these are in fact initials and not monograms, however, since the difference is basedÂ on the order ofÂ the first letter of each nameÂ being written out and a dog sort of only has oneÂ name you will never be able to tell.Â Muwahahahahahhaha! Sorry, distracted with semantics. Back to baking)
You don’t HAVE to make monograms. The only important part is that you use mini cookie cutters.
If you want to create the monograms here is one example of what you can use. Or just Google it.
If you want to mix in other shapes or avoid using the letter cookie cutters, here is an example of something else you can use.
The point is that you need mini cookie cutters. The tinier the better, so that they work as treats for training and you aren’t overfeeding your dog.
FYI this recipe can work with full-size cutters for a dog cookie or biscuit. The choice is yours.
Begin by measuring out your ingredients.
You can mix everything with a spoon, but be warned: a mixer is much easier. It is very possible to do it by hand, though.
I just so happen to have received an early ChristmukkahÂ gift on my front doorstep. My mother taught me to bakeÂ using a KitchenAid.
The first thing you want to do is mix the milk with the peanut butter. This is why a mixer makes life easier.
I scoop the pb into the bowl, and the slooowlyÂ pour the milk in while the mixerÂ runs onÂ a low speed.
Until all of the milk is completely mixed inÂ with the peanut butter.
If it looks like this:
it is not ready.
Should look more like this:
Yours could vary a little in appearance depending on the pb you use.
Mix together all of your dry ingredients and pour it into the batter.
Lightly flour a surface and roll out your dough.
It should be very thin. Otherwise those tiny cutters will not make it through.
Grab out your mini cookie cutters.
Here is what I used:
Your first clue to the winning name.
Place them on a parchment paper (or wax paper)-lined baking sheet.
I liked the miniature star cutter so I used that as well.
Bake at 375 degrees in the oven for about 5-10 minutes depending on the size of the treats. They are ready when they begin to firm up and are difficult to squeeze.
Remember, dogs like to chew on hard things (bones, furniture…).
Mine is no exception.
Look at that little mug. He should be a dog model. Add stage mom into the mix and I am officially nuts.
But seriously, he really is quite good at posing.
Enthusiastic. Maybe for a catalog shoot.
Serious. Blue Steel.
Hmmm or maybe this look is more of the, “I’m angry, starving, and working for Calvin Klein,” look.
His athletic look.
VERY enthusiastic. He is so pumped.
Ladies man. *wink*
Oh, what about the name? I’ll show you his dog tag.
Whoops. Death breath isn’t his name. Too long.
His name is actually on the back of the tag.
(We ordered this and another dog tag from the Urban Puppy Etsy shop. Thanks Nancy! Check it out here. )
There were some other names that I thought were either funny or notable.
In case you are considering adopting your own pet sometime soon, check out this epic collection of submissions:
ShotgunÂ Â (this person has to be from the South)
Phil CollinsÂ Â Â Â (haaaaaaaaa)
Commodore SchmidlappÂ (I loved this. Especially fun when training him to recognize his name)
Misfit, the Atomic Dog
WhiteyÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â (I live in Boston)
Charlie, when he is bad call him Charles
SebastianÂ Â Â (this is such a beautiful name!)
TekÂ Â Â (I am a die-hard Red Sox fan)
FenwayÂ (again, Red Sox)
SoxÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â (if you need me to explain this one…)
Mucho Gusto Joseph Jackson aka Joey (why do I always like the long ones?)
SimbaÂ (I proceed to walk to a cliff and hold him up to the sun)
Oliver or Ollie
Mr. Roboto (haaaaaaaaaaaaa)
Ninja (clearly, this was a favorite as I am a member of the Chuck Norris extreme and extremely secret ninja club. I just made that up)
La Flama Blanca
Cooper (Mr. Cooper?)
BearÂ (the only cat that I like in the entire world is named Bear, and he sits up like a human. Legs out and torso upright.)
Djavo [meaning, little devil. Yes he is]
Sir Chino Chewsalot of Liverpool (again, another favorite)
BaconÂ (you know me so well)
BeerÂ Â (are you sure we aren’t best friends in real life?)
broccoli (okay now you lost me. On a side note, anyone seen choppin’ broccoli from SNL?)
cheeseÂ (you are back in my graces)
PicklesÂ (this name is adorable)
Fido, but spelled Phideaux (haaaaaa)
Jake (the person who suggested it is also named Jake)
ScrumptiousÂ (this reminds me of words such as tellie, crumpets, or dashing)
Black to the Future (haaaaaaaaaaaa)
Sir Reginald Barfly
The DudeÂ (the Dude abides)
Daisy if it ended up a girl instead
Diesel (I love this and will begin incorporating it into my vocabulary. Immediately)
Hunter gets the crazy eyes over these…
…and then passed out from all of the excitement.
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