Okay, okay FINE! I will create something incredibly clichÃ©d and obnoxious for the 4th of July. Yes, not only will it have red, white and blue, but I have successfully made it so that it explodes in your mouth. Like fireworks. This is totally in your face and over the top. Sort of like America.
As mentioned earlier this week, I am totally in love with warm weather and beaches (yet I live in New England waaat?) so the 4th of July (Independence Day, the DAY, not the bad movie with predictable one-liners that makes stripping look like good clean fun) is one of my favorite holidays.
Also, let’s not forget our neighboring Canadians. It is their very own Canada day this July 1, so I am spreading the love. Kind of like July 4th, but… uh…Canadian..?
Before I get to my ridiculous cupcakes, because we Americans think we are the most awesome fantastic perfect beings on this earth, I must list the reasons why it is great to be an American. If you are Canadian, don’t you fret, I will have a list for you too.
Without further ado, topÂ 3 reasons why AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY AND AMERICANS RULE (America…. Eff Yeah):
1. We invent the coolest things that have become the most useful products to humanity.
For example, the Segway. If something promotes obesity more than my recipes, then this would be it:
Oh, and if you need a workout to burn off the calories that were stored on your Segway (while eating my grilled cheese soup) then just use the Shake Weight:
(click the image to play)
God bless America
Don’t forget the Snuggie. Plastic made into a blanket with sleeves.
2. America provides the best entertainment value. Ever.
Umm no other country can claim that they produce such thought provoking and educational material. Like the Jersey Shore.
I spend very much of my free timeÂ contemplating the SnookieÂ poof, and what the heck GTL means. Sigh.
Celebrities who make movies to promote themselves. I don’t know if America invented this marketing scheme, but it is clearly ingenious.
Ummm, use other movie ideas to make a new one? Europe, you should be taking notes!
3. Americans are the best people in the world.
First of all, umm the entire world should be jealous of the caliber and grace of our people.
git er done.
Also,Â if you want to be a TRUE American then become a famous football player.
Then develop an addiction to Vicodin, harass multiple women through sextsÂ (if you don’t know what that ‘sexts’ means then you are eitherÂ probably too young to beÂ reading this site, or you need to ask your kids what it means), send photos of your wee wee to a female reporter, and string your fans along every off-season by publicly contemplating quitting football. WhatÂ a tease.
AmericaÂ should also receive a “were not worthy” from the rest of the world for introducing realityÂ stars.
He seems so nice.
4. We brought you Chuck Norris.
Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows
you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Your search – Chuck Norris – did not match any documents.
- Run, before he finds you
- Try a different person
OoooooooooooohÂ Canada! I didn’t forget about you. Sorry to disappoint, however, it is far easier to make fun of my own countryÂ than another. I’m sorry, I seem to be developing a soft spot in my heart. Probably because I watched a chick flick the other day by mistake (I swear, I though it was a comedy, no lie).
Sooooo CANADA YOU ARE COOL BECA– USE:
1. You gave us Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never “attempts” murder.
…for all of you guys out there his daughter, Kim Bauer,Â is Canadian too.
2.Â The land of Canada is beautiful. My parents used to drag me on road trips across North America. I wanted to jump off of a cliff every time they stopped to take photos of trees, cliffs, andÂ riversÂ (incredibly entertaining for aÂ 12-year-old). What I do remember, though, was how amazing the land and greenery was. I just want to frolic through the trees naked and hang out with deer all day. Actually nix that, bears and moose might kill me. It’s often to cold there to run around naked.
3. Peace. I tend to hate anything loud, dramatic, uncomfortable conflicts. Canada is like the friend who sort of chills out and sips on a white russian (or beer, if you don’t know who the Dude is) while a whole crap-load of ridiculous drama goes down.
Feel free to leave your own reasons why America and/or Canada rules in the comments section at the bottom of the page.
For the pop rocks cupcakes:
To make the pop rock fireworks truffle toppers,
– white chocolate coloredÂ with candy dye/coloring, or candy melts if you must
– 4 ounces of white chocolate
– pop rocks (I think you can find them in Walgreens.. I found mine at iParty. Any candy store should have them as well. Just call the store first and they can check for you)
– 1/4 cup or less of heavy cream
– black licorice
– sprinkles of some sort for the tip of the black licorice
To make the cupcakes,
–any white or yellow cake batter of your choice
– blue and red food coloring
– condiment bottles (available in many grocery stores, baking supply stores, and places like Target)
– white chocolate
– more pop rocks
To make the Canadian (or American, if you want) pop rock flag toppers,
–pop rocks (duh)
– wax paper
– candy melt pens, or white chocolate and candy coloring, or candy melts (usually, I use white chocolate. For the sake of this post, I felt it was much easier to use a pen then learning to pipe chocolate)
–print-out of any American, Canadian, or whatever flag image
I will be posting up pointers about using popÂ rocks near the end of the post.Â When you make these, please read pointers or your cupcakes and toppers probably will notÂ POP!
Begin by making the chocolate truffles. Grab your cream and white chocolate. I used 1/4 of a cup, but next time I would try to use less. The problem with cream processed in the US is that it tends to have water added in (in France the butter and cream is very rich and you can taste the difference).
Water is very bad for pop rocks, so try to use the best quality and least processed cream that you can find.
Heat the cream in a saucepan on low. I mixed mine frequently to release as much steam (water) as possible.
Once it begins to form little bubbles around the edge and forms a film on top, remove from heat.
Wait a few minutes, then add the white chocolate.
Let it sit for a few minutes. Whisk the chocolate and cream together.
Pour into a bowl, and once it is cooled place in fridge to harden.
Now for the cupcakes.
Make your cake batter. I make a white cake, that doesn’t have too much baking soda and powder.
Separate the batter into 3 bowls, then dye one red and one blue.
The blue bowl should have much less batter than the other two.
If your recipe permits, pop in the fridge.
Place cupcake liners in a cupcake pan.
Fill your condiment bottle with either the red or white batter.
Very carefully pipe a spiral around the bottom of the cupcake liners.
I actually pipe one, then another spiral so there are two layers.
Next, pipe on two more spiral layers of the opposite color.
Continue to do so until you are near the top.
I ended up having red, white, red, white. SoÂ 3 stripes.
Use a cupcake liner to mold some foil into a half circle.
Grease with oil or butter, then sprinkle with flour.
Place in cupcake liner, and fill the other side with your last layer of color.
The cupcakes now have 4 stripes.
Bake in the oven, opening to push down the foil every few minutes. After the cake is no longer liquid and starts to solidify, remove the cupcakes from the oven. I took mine out after about 8 minutes. Depends on the cake recipe.
Carefully peel the foil off, then using a condiment bottle, fill in the empty cavity with the blue batter. Pop back into the oven and bake until the blue section is baked.
Now for the flag toppers. Print out your image and tape on a piece of waxed paper.
Melt your colored candy pen according to directions (you can buy them online, at any baking supply store, or William Sonoma). Snip off the top and begin with the most detailed and smallest part.
Pop into the fridge to set. Well, I had to do that because there is not air conditioning on in my kitchen.
Add the next layer and sprinkle on the pop rocks.
Note: If you are doing the American flag, it will probably take about 3 layers. Then spread on an entire layer of more candy or chocolate and immediately pour on pop rocks.
Very quickly, squeeze or pipe on an entire layer of candy melt or chocolate so that the pop rocks are totally covered.
If they are not covered they will lose their “pop” due to exposure to air.
Place a popsicle stick onto the back and allow to set on counter or in fridge (but not TOO long in the fridge).
Now to finish the fireworks truffles.
Take out the chocolate.
Use a spoon to get out a wedge of chocolate onto a piece of wax paper.
Pour on pop rocks and immediately spoon on more chocolate.
Working quickly to roll the chocolate in between your hands so it becomes a cylinder shape.
Pop into freezer to harden for a few minutes.
In the meantime, have your white chocolate melting in a double boiler.Â If you do not know what a double boiler is, then you can read a little about it here, in another of my posts. Also, grab your black licorice and sprinkles you will use to add “sparkle” to the tip of the licorice.
Grab your truffles from the freezer and place a toothpick on the end. Working very quickly, dip the truffle in the chocolate and allow some to drip off. Before it dries, roll in pop rocks. The truffles are cold, so it will cause the chocolate to harden fairly quickly. I take mine out of the freezer and waitÂ a few minutes for it to warm up before dipping.
After you roll it in the pop rocks, dip it again in the chocolate. This can beÂ sliiightly tricky in making it smooth because the pop rocks create bumps (duh). I say make extra truffles, just in case.
The recipe made aboutÂ truffles, but I suggest making it much much smaller than mine.
Oh, yeah dip a piece of black licorice into chocolate and hold it onto the top of the truffle. Then dip the other end and dip in sprinkles to make it look like it is lit on fire.
To assemble the cupcakes. Melt some white chocolate (or whatever chocolate flavor/color you like).
Use a spatula to spread some on top of the cupcake.
Place in a bowl and immediately sprinkle on pop rocks.
Scoop up more chocolate and drip a few blobs on top of the pop rock layer.
Carefully spread the chocolate so that it covers the pop rocks completely.
Now, I did not place this in the fridge becauseÂ I did not want the chocolate to harden too much.
I placed them in a room that was a tad warm, to keep the chocolate dry but slightly soft.
You can add frosting, but that is A LOT of sugar!! The truffles and white chocolate are plenty for me.
A NOTE ABOUT USING POP ROCKS
These are very cool candies that will impress people when added to the cupcakes and toppers. That being said, here is how I handled them in order to keep them as effective as possible
-TheÂ longer they are exposed to air, the more they pop. Whenever I used pop rocks in the recipe, I open the packets right before using and try to coat or cover them as soon as possible. Work quickly when using them!
– Although it is moisture that makes them pop, I do believe that temperature affects them as well. When placing anything in the fridge or freezer for this recipe I try to leave it for as little time as possible. Also, do not expose it to hot temperatures either. If transporting to somewhere warm, keep in a cooler with an ice pack, but not too many ice packs! Slightly cool temp is the goal.
– Should you have any issues please leave a comment, or email email@example.com or twitter @1finecookie & I will respond to you as quickly as possible!
So the good news, is that I sampled the truffles and cupcakes 24 hours later and they still pop when you start to chew. These cuppies are so sick! They are like fireworks or in your mouth!
These are so in your face! The look and the taste.
So there..Â allÂ of theÂ 4th of July clichÃ©s you could dream of.
And for my Canadians,
This is how it would look with the frosting on top. Pretty and sweet.
(PS I did not act like a cacaÂ headÂ and say, eh? I wanted to, but I didn’t.. well I guess I just said it. Sorry.)
Happy Canada Day biotches! Happy Independence Day biotches!
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